[ Even though she had gone in for retraining the first time things had been weird and it had helped, now there were even more of those strange thoughts coming into her head. She hadn't made the connection between the whole town being called in for their vitamins and more of these thoughts returning after, but it didn't matter. Though things had briefly returned to normal again after the first time she'd gone back with her happily resuming the role of the doting wife, now that dark moodiness had returned in full.
She would go through the motions of her day, but it always seemed like her thoughts were elsewhere. When no one was around to see it, she would sit by the window for hours at a time, just staring out blankly as she sifted through all of these thoughts.
Diva can remember things that are terrible, enough to make her sick. She can remember living in a tiny, stone room for what seemed like forever, hungry and hurting all the time. There are two men there, and both of them tear her apart, but she never cries or screams, even though she can remember the feeling of hands inside her stomach and pushing aside some organs to look at others. The first time she had one of these thoughts, she had gotten sick, but there were so many of them that even if they made her stomach churn, she was getting used to them.
These images don't belong to her.
For every thought that seems out of place, of going to palaces and parading as a princess to a girl that looks so much like her, but with red eyes, she tries to think about other ones instead. She remembers meeting Garry, that silly blind date, and everything she had dragged him along to after that. She remembers their wedding and how happy she had been, because she was finally getting her dream of a family. She can even remember her despair when the doctor had told her that she wouldn't have children on her own, so that they should look into adoption instead.
That's not her...
Both of them feel so real, and they're intermingling in a way that she's frightened of. Which one is real? These patchy thoughts, like half-remembered dreams, where she's covered in blood that's not her own? Or is it what's around her now, where she's lived comfortably and happily her whole life? She wants it to be the latter. She wants that so badly that it's almost painful, because that girl in those fragmented memories, she's a monster.
Those thoughts are running on repeat, over and over again, so she's distracted. It's her turn to cook dinner, since there are at least a few things she can do (She thinks—When did she learn to do this?). She's chopping up vegetables, but she's too distracted, and she doesn't even notice when her finger is where it shouldn't be, and she slice off a part of her finger. There's not even pain to alert her to it, because she can't feel it at all.
[ thanks to the relative shortage of vitamins, Garry's not doing as well as he could be, either; naturally, he makes sure that Sieglinde gets the lion's share of their medication. Her health comes first. It's resulted in sporadic nightmares during the night and odd feelings of disconnect during the day, but nothing worse yet. They were nothing more than disconcerting. He's so thankful to Yao for keeping this irritating mental block away; with any luck, they'd restock their vitamins soon.
Either way, he's surely not doing as badly as Diva is.
Ever since that first day when she'd come to see him at school, something's been wrong. True, things had briefly gotten better when she went in for retraining, and he was happy for that. Of course Yao could fix it! If anything was wrong, he could rely on them - so he believed. But then her fugue came back, and worse than before. To him, who had lived with her for so many years (hadn't he?), the difference in her demeanor was obvious. The far-away look in her eyes; the way she seemed jumpier than usual, or anxious, or something. It was enough to almost make him sick. Garry's stuck by her side like a loyal dog the past few days, even taking a bit of time off of work again. They needed the money, but her health mattered more.
That's why he's there to see her slice into her hand. His face pales immediately at the blood, and he cries out. ]
D-Diva!! Your finger! Oh, goodness, let me get some paper towels--!!
[ She looks up absently from her work, then only stares with confusion at her hand as it bleeds. Diva hadn't felt it at all, though when she tries to remember her life here, she can't really remember getting hurt at all. That's strange, isn't it? As Garry moves, she just watches him almost as if she's curious. ]
Don't feel it? Good grief, how can you not?! [ the thing about hands is that they have a lot of blood vessels close to the surface for the sake of touching things. The bleeding is making him a little pale, but, dutifully, he tears off a few squares of paper towels nearby and immediately runs to her, taking up her hand and wrapping it as best as he can. ]
You're... You're supposed to put pressure on it and hold it up! I think that's what they say in health class... [ he'll be trying to raise up her hand as he speaks. Obviously, he should get actual bandages, but that can wait a second. ] Diva, you've got to pay more attention! You're not yourself these days...
[ As he picks up her hand, she watches, but she can already feel something strange happening on the end of her finger. She wants to pull away his hands to look and see, but at the same time, she's afraid of what she might see, too. What would that feeling mean? ]
I'm sorry, Garry...
[ She trails off absently with a troubled expression, then curls her hand slightly to grip his in return. ]
I was just clumsy, that's all! [ The cheer in her voice feels forced, but it's there. ] It's just a little cut.
[ feeling her squeeze back reassures him, but only barely. Garry shakes his head, leaning down a little more to look her in the face properly. She's forcing herself; he can tell. ]
It's not just the cut... It's more than that. It's like you're distracted, or... or something.
[ there's honest concern in his eyes as he speaks; he's truly worried about her. ]
Is everything okay...? You know you can tell me anything.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action, after the npc post with vitamins
She would go through the motions of her day, but it always seemed like her thoughts were elsewhere. When no one was around to see it, she would sit by the window for hours at a time, just staring out blankly as she sifted through all of these thoughts.
Diva can remember things that are terrible, enough to make her sick. She can remember living in a tiny, stone room for what seemed like forever, hungry and hurting all the time. There are two men there, and both of them tear her apart, but she never cries or screams, even though she can remember the feeling of hands inside her stomach and pushing aside some organs to look at others. The first time she had one of these thoughts, she had gotten sick, but there were so many of them that even if they made her stomach churn, she was getting used to them.
These images don't belong to her.
For every thought that seems out of place, of going to palaces and parading as a princess to a girl that looks so much like her, but with red eyes, she tries to think about other ones instead. She remembers meeting Garry, that silly blind date, and everything she had dragged him along to after that. She remembers their wedding and how happy she had been, because she was finally getting her dream of a family. She can even remember her despair when the doctor had told her that she wouldn't have children on her own, so that they should look into adoption instead.
That's not her...
Both of them feel so real, and they're intermingling in a way that she's frightened of. Which one is real? These patchy thoughts, like half-remembered dreams, where she's covered in blood that's not her own? Or is it what's around her now, where she's lived comfortably and happily her whole life? She wants it to be the latter. She wants that so badly that it's almost painful, because that girl in those fragmented memories, she's a monster.
Those thoughts are running on repeat, over and over again, so she's distracted. It's her turn to cook dinner, since there are at least a few things she can do (She thinks—When did she learn to do this?). She's chopping up vegetables, but she's too distracted, and she doesn't even notice when her finger is where it shouldn't be, and she slice off a part of her finger. There's not even pain to alert her to it, because she can't feel it at all.
However, Garry might notice, at least. ]
no subject
Either way, he's surely not doing as badly as Diva is.
Ever since that first day when she'd come to see him at school, something's been wrong. True, things had briefly gotten better when she went in for retraining, and he was happy for that. Of course Yao could fix it! If anything was wrong, he could rely on them - so he believed. But then her fugue came back, and worse than before. To him, who had lived with her for so many years (hadn't he?), the difference in her demeanor was obvious. The far-away look in her eyes; the way she seemed jumpier than usual, or anxious, or something. It was enough to almost make him sick. Garry's stuck by her side like a loyal dog the past few days, even taking a bit of time off of work again. They needed the money, but her health mattered more.
That's why he's there to see her slice into her hand. His face pales immediately at the blood, and he cries out. ]
D-Diva!! Your finger! Oh, goodness, let me get some paper towels--!!
no subject
[ She looks up absently from her work, then only stares with confusion at her hand as it bleeds. Diva hadn't felt it at all, though when she tries to remember her life here, she can't really remember getting hurt at all. That's strange, isn't it? As Garry moves, she just watches him almost as if she's curious. ]
Why don't I feel it?
no subject
You're... You're supposed to put pressure on it and hold it up! I think that's what they say in health class... [ he'll be trying to raise up her hand as he speaks. Obviously, he should get actual bandages, but that can wait a second. ] Diva, you've got to pay more attention! You're not yourself these days...
no subject
I'm sorry, Garry...
[ She trails off absently with a troubled expression, then curls her hand slightly to grip his in return. ]
I was just clumsy, that's all! [ The cheer in her voice feels forced, but it's there. ] It's just a little cut.
no subject
It's not just the cut... It's more than that. It's like you're distracted, or... or something.
[ there's honest concern in his eyes as he speaks; he's truly worried about her. ]
Is everything okay...? You know you can tell me anything.