[ She doesn't pull away from the half-hug, but she doesn't quite return it either. Diva sits there passively for a few moments, clearly trying to keep herself from crying more, so... She talks. Because it is sad, and if one more person knows it, then so be it. ]
No, it's— I just can't have something like that. No matter how much I try, no matter what, it doesn't work. Because I'm not... I'm not the one that was ever meant to be loved, so that's it, right? Sister was the one that let me out, but she hated me ever since that day. I don't think Amshel ever loved me at all, but I never, I couldn't be alone. I couldn't have lived without him, and I shouldn't have...
[ She shakes her head, curling in on herself more, still trying valiantly not to lose it even though she's trembling. But whatever she was going to say about what she shouldn't have done seems forgotten as she continues. ]
And every Chevalier was the same as the last one, you know. They were terrible, awful things, but as long as we could pretend, as long as I could pretend that we loved each other, that was alright. I could pretend. But I wouldn't have had to, not with my daughters. My beautiful daughters would have loved me, because I was their mother. But if my daughters got to live, then their mother would have to die, because Saya would never let them live without killing me, since I was the one she hated so much. I could die alone, and that would be it. That's fine, I thought.
So...Why? I hate that man, because I was done. I didn't have to try anymore, but I'm stupid... Why did I expect anything to be different, do you know? I should have never believed him. No one could be a father to me. No one could really just let me go with them and start over. I was never supposed to be the one that was loved.
[ It's a quiet anger, not vicious like the one she had shown Ciel and Charles. But it's the breaking point, so she chokes out a sob, almost folded over on herself by now. Hearing that raw, emotional story is something that few ever get the chance to hear from Diva, but it highlights the very sad, central point of her tragedy. For all the violence and pain, both suffered and inflicted, at the heart of everything, Diva was just a girl that wanted to be loved above all else, because it was something she'd never been given. Not until she met Abel. ]
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No, it's— I just can't have something like that. No matter how much I try, no matter what, it doesn't work. Because I'm not... I'm not the one that was ever meant to be loved, so that's it, right? Sister was the one that let me out, but she hated me ever since that day. I don't think Amshel ever loved me at all, but I never, I couldn't be alone. I couldn't have lived without him, and I shouldn't have...
[ She shakes her head, curling in on herself more, still trying valiantly not to lose it even though she's trembling. But whatever she was going to say about what she shouldn't have done seems forgotten as she continues. ]
And every Chevalier was the same as the last one, you know. They were terrible, awful things, but as long as we could pretend, as long as I could pretend that we loved each other, that was alright. I could pretend. But I wouldn't have had to, not with my daughters. My beautiful daughters would have loved me, because I was their mother. But if my daughters got to live, then their mother would have to die, because Saya would never let them live without killing me, since I was the one she hated so much. I could die alone, and that would be it. That's fine, I thought.
So...Why? I hate that man, because I was done. I didn't have to try anymore, but I'm stupid... Why did I expect anything to be different, do you know? I should have never believed him. No one could be a father to me. No one could really just let me go with them and start over. I was never supposed to be the one that was loved.
[ It's a quiet anger, not vicious like the one she had shown Ciel and Charles. But it's the breaking point, so she chokes out a sob, almost folded over on herself by now. Hearing that raw, emotional story is something that few ever get the chance to hear from Diva, but it highlights the very sad, central point of her tragedy. For all the violence and pain, both suffered and inflicted, at the heart of everything, Diva was just a girl that wanted to be loved above all else, because it was something she'd never been given. Not until she met Abel. ]
No matter what I do, I just can't have it...