[Though she teases about the story with a playful, if malicious, lightheartedness, that sense doesn't carry as she tells it. Though it's something distant now, through time and a conscious decision, it's still something painful and unfair. She can't keep her eyes on him as she explains, so she lightly turns her back to him again.]
I was born without a name. I didn't have a name at all until I had already been alive for fifty years, because what I was supposed to be, it doesn't need a name.
[There's a light pause there as she shifts to clasp her hands behind her back.]
Because I told you, right? A Chiropteran isn't something supernatural or anything. We're another species, so when a curious scientist finds a new species, they want to learn about it. And since there was my twin sister and I, she was the one chosen to live normally as a control, but I was the one that was locked up in a tower so that they could find out everything there was to know about a Chiropteran. And it's something enchanting to humans, because we hold the secret of immortality.
So everything terrible you can think of, I know it really well! Cutting off my arms and legs and letting them float in a tub full of blood to watch how they'd reattach. Opening me up in a way that doesn't kill me so that they can watch my heart beat, and then carefully move them one by one to see what's necessary. Injecting me with human diseases to see how I would react, even though it would usually just kill me slowly and over and over again, because even if I can regenerate from anything, what gets rid of diseases isn't much different, I guess.
[She tilts her head thoughtfully] But you get used to those things. I don't remember what it's like to feel pain like that, because I never knew what it was like to feel anything else. But being trapped in a tiny room without anything but chains to keep me there, and always slowly dying and wishing that maybe the next time, I would wake up... You never get used to that. I was just an animal that they were keeping alive so that they could keep doing their experiments.
[She looks back to Garry, smiling pleasantly]
So you know, it's funny that humans are so afraid of me. They're the ones that can be the real monsters.
[ Whatever he was expecting her to say, this certainly went beyond it. Garry listens, following behind her as he wrings his hands nervously, still a little winded from that trip through the tunnel, and learns, heart slowly sinking as she continues. It might be guilt that he's feeling somewhere in the general sense of horror; a conflicted little bud of guilt growing towards this murderer before him, but if anyone was going to empathize with a killer, it might as well be him, gentle, timid, bleeding-heart Garry.
It would be easy to snap out and defend humans here, saying that, well, she'd killed so many of them anyway, of course they're afraid of her; if this had been neared to when they'd first met, he might have done just that. But he can't just look at her and see a monster now - especially when she'd just spilled her guts out in front of him. And because part of him knows that she's right. Beyond this specific instance, in spite of his general optimism, he knows that humans have caused almost all the pain in the world that he knows. Diva just happened to live to tell about it. ]
... Diva... So that's why... [ he wonders why she's telling him this. he's nothing special, himself, and he can't even really think of how to reply; he's just shocked, looking on at her with -- pity? Apology? ] ... Nobody deserves that, human or not. I'm sorry. I... I'm not sure what you want me to say, and I know it probably doesn't mean much coming from me, but... I would say that you're right. They were the monsters. Not you.
[ Ah. The pity and apology seems to make her uncomfortable, since as soon as she sees that expression, she's looking straight ahead again, her shoulders turned in just slightly. It's uncomfortable to have it viewed as something sad, because that would mean she should be giving it more weight. ]
You don't have to say anything. Because I've told you, it just means that I like you.
[ There's a pause, since she's not addressing anything he's said, really. ] Because without knowing that, you can't know me at all. That's what I mean.
[ There she goes again. It would probably be simpler if she just acted like a killer all the time instead of this, but nothing is ever black and white. Such is life. ]
W -- Well, I can't just say nothing to something like that...! [ he picks up his pace a little bit, jogging up to walk beside her, if a little bit anxiously. ] There's a lot more to your story than I thought there was when we first spoke. You know, I can't forgive the things you said you did... But I don't have to define you by them, either. After all, I don't exactly have a clean record, myself.
[ And now that he'll be able to see her face, she just looks awkward and uncertain. It's not quite as bad now, since she's already had this conversation with Abel, but it's still strange to hear a person actually considering her, not as a Chiropteran, not as some kind of mystery to be unraveled, but as a person. ]
Um... [ But still, it's hard to talk much more about it without slipping out of her comfort zone, so she looks to him with a curious expression and tone instead. ] What do you mean by that? What have you done?
Er... [ that last part had just sort of slipped out unbidden - as he'd admitted himself, he didn't know what to say in reply to her story - and now he'd gone and put himself on the spot. Anyone would ask about it, after a lead like that...
Well, she'd gone and told him what she'd done. Maybe it was time for him to own up to this. It wasn't that he'd believed he'd acted wrongly at that time; in fact, he doesn't think there was anything else he could have done. But it didn't change what happened then. ]
... If I tell you, you have to promise to keep it between you and me, all right? It's a very personal matter.
[ sighing, Garry takes a second to put this into words, running a hand through his scruffy hair. It would be the first time he'd actually talked about what had happened at the end then - even he and Ib hadn't really discussed it. ]
Well... Just a little while before I got stuck here, I was stuck somewhere else, you see... A really terrible art gallery. At least, it looked like one. That's where I met Ib. [ he sticks his hands in his pockets. ] The gallery was full of these violent creatures and awful little games and puzzles, but if we wanted to get out, we had to go through them all. But the truth is that there was another little girl there... if you can call her that. She was just a painting like all the other monsters there, really, and she dragged us to her world so that she would have "friends," I think. In the end, though, once we learned her secret, I guess she decided it would be easier just to kill us.
[ it's hard to tell if his vagueness is real uncertainty or an attempt to couch what he did. Either way, it looks like it's his turn to just keep his gaze forward. ] ... And she really would have killed the two of us, right there in that gallery! So -- I had to do it first. To protect Ib, I had to... stop her. I burned her up. And we did get out afterwards.
[ As he tells the story, Diva gets more interested, her eyes really lighting up in wonder at the story. It's a moment where her childish nature comes through the strongest, since she was so enraptured with stories, especially the fairytale-like or fantastical ones. A gallery of violence is something beautiful and wonderful in her mind, and she almost presses him for more details about that, since his actions don't really strike her as anything interesting.
(Though, later, if she thinks about the little painting's side of the story instead of just Garry's, she might find her story sympathetic.)
To her, it's perfectly reasonable. You kill something that tries to kill you. It's a basic rule of life, and humans were really the only ones to try and deny it. But she knows to not say such a thing, so she nods lightly in understanding. ]
Well, that's the only thing there was to do. I guess you feel bad because you're a gentle person, but... [ Diva pauses and looks to him before she adds: ] But if you're protecting yourself, and someone else too, then you do what you have to. Isn't that a pretty brave thing to do?
[ that was about the reaction he predicted from her, and he's not sure if he feels better or worse for it. Well, it was probably good to talk about that, even if it was with a maneating vampire... Probably. Garry looks a little uncertain for a few moments, in spite of her positive answer. ]
Maybe. [ It was definitely the right thing to do, he told himself, but that didn't make it a good thing. Maybe she wasn't a human and she was trying to kill him, but she was also a lonely little girl, whether he liked it or not. What a familiar dilemma... ]
... But don't sound surprised. I can be pretty brave when it counts, you know!
[ She laughs warmly as she takes hold of his arm again. ]
Oh, excuse me! I didn't really mean to, but it's still hard imagining when I've only seen you as being pretty skittish... But I'll believe you! I'm sure you have a brave, chivalrous knight somewhere in you!
[ Diva laughs merrily, her tone becoming more playful ]
Well then! For Garry, I'll put aside my role of the queen and be your knight instead, for whatever you're supposed to be. Hmm, I don't know if you're quite a prince, but for the sake of this, you can be! I'll be the prince's knight.
[ well, he's glad she doesn't seem to be too terribly brought down by what she told him earlier - or by what he told her, not that he expected it to change anything. Garry's more than willing to move back onto lighter things, but he definitely is tucking away the knowledge into the back of his mind for later. She told him something important. ]
Oh, my... That sounds pretty improper for a queen. But I'm like a prince, hmm? I never thought I'd hear anyone say that.
[ It's just how she works, as Garry is slowly starting to see. Her mood and temperament are very fluid, to the point that it's truly strange how easily she can move from serious right back to whimsical and childish. ]
A little...! To be a proper prince, you'd have to be a little braver, but you at least have a good start. If you can be my f— [ nope ] If you can spend time with me like this, then that has to be sort of brave! But I'm still the prince, since I'm the one that's been saving you.
[ She nods enthusiastically, since this is the part of her life that she actually loves, even if it's disconnected, as he's picked up on. ]
Oh, yes! I met the most of them when we were in Russia, but that's because I really was a princess then. I took Grand Duchess Anastasia's place, so of course I was around royalty all the time. It was a lot of fun, going to things like balls, and sometimes Grigori would let me go as me, but I'd have to go by a fake name.
[ Lightly, ] I mean, it's a low profile in terms of what I am, more than anything. We never really kept a low profile all together, but there aren't really any photographs of me over the years, and any records are with a fake name, so just looking at papers, you wouldn't be able to figure it out. But we're always at the top of things. In Russia it was royalty, in Germany it was the Führer, and in Vietnam, it was the communists. Well, then after that, we decided that all the wars and conflicts were sort of a pain anyways, so my Chevalier just built up their companies and things like that.
[ Welcome to the hydra of evil that is Diva and her murder posse, Garry. ]
[ uh. That's really not okay... All of those things happened an incredibly long time ago, from his perspective, but there are enough records to know that, well... They weren't nice people. Once again, his casual expression darkens a little bit. ]
Those were the types of people you associated with...? Why would you? [ poor Garry really doesn't want her to turn out to be a Nazi or something. ] I know you don't really like humans, but those people have got to be some of the worst of us...
[ She shrugs lightly, like they might as well be discussing unpleasant weather ]
Well, it wasn't really my choice. My Chevalier are the ones that decided things like that, so you'd have to ask them. [ After a moment to think about it, she adds: ] But it was probably so that the development of their drug was kept a secret. I don't know very much about any of that, though, just that it uses my blood. Er... Sort of.
[ Her brow furrows as she starts to confuse herself, so she shakes her head. ] But I guess it's easier to say that it's not like my Chevalier were nice people. The only two that were famous or anything were Grigori Rasputin and Martin Bormann, so that probably gives you an idea, if you know them. They're not really remembered well.
[ She... certainly was clueless about some rather important things in her life, wasn't she? It was troubling, to say the least, especially for how well it fell in line with the weird brand of naievete she displayed sometimes. ]
Er... That seems like the sort of thing you should pay attention to, Diva. Aren't you the queen? You should be the one in charge of what you're doing.
[ But then it looks like she deflates a little, making a small and huffy noise as she looks away. Could it be that she's embarrassed...? ]
I'm— I'm not very good at, um... I'm not very good at planning or things like that. I'm not a smart person, so I let my Chevalier take care of things like that. I don't really care what they do, as long as they're at my side.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I was born without a name. I didn't have a name at all until I had already been alive for fifty years, because what I was supposed to be, it doesn't need a name.
[There's a light pause there as she shifts to clasp her hands behind her back.]
Because I told you, right? A Chiropteran isn't something supernatural or anything. We're another species, so when a curious scientist finds a new species, they want to learn about it. And since there was my twin sister and I, she was the one chosen to live normally as a control, but I was the one that was locked up in a tower so that they could find out everything there was to know about a Chiropteran. And it's something enchanting to humans, because we hold the secret of immortality.
So everything terrible you can think of, I know it really well! Cutting off my arms and legs and letting them float in a tub full of blood to watch how they'd reattach. Opening me up in a way that doesn't kill me so that they can watch my heart beat, and then carefully move them one by one to see what's necessary. Injecting me with human diseases to see how I would react, even though it would usually just kill me slowly and over and over again, because even if I can regenerate from anything, what gets rid of diseases isn't much different, I guess.
[She tilts her head thoughtfully] But you get used to those things. I don't remember what it's like to feel pain like that, because I never knew what it was like to feel anything else. But being trapped in a tiny room without anything but chains to keep me there, and always slowly dying and wishing that maybe the next time, I would wake up... You never get used to that. I was just an animal that they were keeping alive so that they could keep doing their experiments.
[She looks back to Garry, smiling pleasantly]
So you know, it's funny that humans are so afraid of me. They're the ones that can be the real monsters.
no subject
It would be easy to snap out and defend humans here, saying that, well, she'd killed so many of them anyway, of course they're afraid of her; if this had been neared to when they'd first met, he might have done just that. But he can't just look at her and see a monster now - especially when she'd just spilled her guts out in front of him. And because part of him knows that she's right. Beyond this specific instance, in spite of his general optimism, he knows that humans have caused almost all the pain in the world that he knows. Diva just happened to live to tell about it. ]
... Diva... So that's why... [ he wonders why she's telling him this. he's nothing special, himself, and he can't even really think of how to reply; he's just shocked, looking on at her with -- pity? Apology? ] ... Nobody deserves that, human or not. I'm sorry. I... I'm not sure what you want me to say, and I know it probably doesn't mean much coming from me, but... I would say that you're right. They were the monsters. Not you.
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You don't have to say anything. Because I've told you, it just means that I like you.
[ There's a pause, since she's not addressing anything he's said, really. ] Because without knowing that, you can't know me at all. That's what I mean.
nO THAT ICON IS SO CUTE stop it diva!!
W -- Well, I can't just say nothing to something like that...! [ he picks up his pace a little bit, jogging up to walk beside her, if a little bit anxiously. ] There's a lot more to your story than I thought there was when we first spoke. You know, I can't forgive the things you said you did... But I don't have to define you by them, either. After all, I don't exactly have a clean record, myself.
bite m--oh wait
Um... [ But still, it's hard to talk much more about it without slipping out of her comfort zone, so she looks to him with a curious expression and tone instead. ] What do you mean by that? What have you done?
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Well, she'd gone and told him what she'd done. Maybe it was time for him to own up to this. It wasn't that he'd believed he'd acted wrongly at that time; in fact, he doesn't think there was anything else he could have done. But it didn't change what happened then. ]
... If I tell you, you have to promise to keep it between you and me, all right? It's a very personal matter.
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I promise. If it's you, then it can't be anything as bad as what I've told you, right?
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Well... Just a little while before I got stuck here, I was stuck somewhere else, you see... A really terrible art gallery. At least, it looked like one. That's where I met Ib. [ he sticks his hands in his pockets. ] The gallery was full of these violent creatures and awful little games and puzzles, but if we wanted to get out, we had to go through them all. But the truth is that there was another little girl there... if you can call her that. She was just a painting like all the other monsters there, really, and she dragged us to her world so that she would have "friends," I think. In the end, though, once we learned her secret, I guess she decided it would be easier just to kill us.
[ it's hard to tell if his vagueness is real uncertainty or an attempt to couch what he did. Either way, it looks like it's his turn to just keep his gaze forward. ] ... And she really would have killed the two of us, right there in that gallery! So -- I had to do it first. To protect Ib, I had to... stop her. I burned her up. And we did get out afterwards.
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(Though, later, if she thinks about the little painting's side of the story instead of just Garry's, she might find her story sympathetic.)
To her, it's perfectly reasonable. You kill something that tries to kill you. It's a basic rule of life, and humans were really the only ones to try and deny it. But she knows to not say such a thing, so she nods lightly in understanding. ]
Well, that's the only thing there was to do. I guess you feel bad because you're a gentle person, but... [ Diva pauses and looks to him before she adds: ] But if you're protecting yourself, and someone else too, then you do what you have to. Isn't that a pretty brave thing to do?
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Maybe. [ It was definitely the right thing to do, he told himself, but that didn't make it a good thing. Maybe she wasn't a human and she was trying to kill him, but she was also a lonely little girl, whether he liked it or not. What a familiar dilemma... ]
... But don't sound surprised. I can be pretty brave when it counts, you know!
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Oh, excuse me! I didn't really mean to, but it's still hard imagining when I've only seen you as being pretty skittish... But I'll believe you! I'm sure you have a brave, chivalrous knight somewhere in you!
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W-well, I don't know if I'd go that far. The image just doesn't suit me... [ because he's obviously the princess in this metaphor ]
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Oh? Then would you be the princess instead, Garry?
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[ CAN'T BE OFFENDED THIS WAY ]
this is cute all of the sudden wtf
Well then! For Garry, I'll put aside my role of the queen and be your knight instead, for whatever you're supposed to be. Hmm, I don't know if you're quite a prince, but for the sake of this, you can be! I'll be the prince's knight.
i blame diva
Oh, my... That sounds pretty improper for a queen. But I'm like a prince, hmm? I never thought I'd hear anyone say that.
ububububu
A little...! To be a proper prince, you'd have to be a little braver, but you at least have a good start. If you can be my f— [ nope ] If you can spend time with me like this, then that has to be sort of brave! But I'm still the prince, since I'm the one that's been saving you.
ebebebebebe
A prince is a diplomat, not a fighter, you know! I think I'm brave enough for that.
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Well, I know that's what they're really like. I've met a few of them. But that's so boring. It's better to be a prince like in a fairytale.
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[ that, and she was apparently a living sample somewhere for a while. Her story's in disconnected pieces. ]
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Oh, yes! I met the most of them when we were in Russia, but that's because I really was a princess then. I took Grand Duchess Anastasia's place, so of course I was around royalty all the time. It was a lot of fun, going to things like balls, and sometimes Grigori would let me go as me, but I'd have to go by a fake name.
[ Lightly, ] I mean, it's a low profile in terms of what I am, more than anything. We never really kept a low profile all together, but there aren't really any photographs of me over the years, and any records are with a fake name, so just looking at papers, you wouldn't be able to figure it out. But we're always at the top of things. In Russia it was royalty, in Germany it was the Führer, and in Vietnam, it was the communists. Well, then after that, we decided that all the wars and conflicts were sort of a pain anyways, so my Chevalier just built up their companies and things like that.
[ Welcome to the hydra of evil that is Diva and her murder posse, Garry. ]
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Those were the types of people you associated with...? Why would you? [ poor Garry really doesn't want her to turn out to be a Nazi or something. ] I know you don't really like humans, but those people have got to be some of the worst of us...
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Well, it wasn't really my choice. My Chevalier are the ones that decided things like that, so you'd have to ask them. [ After a moment to think about it, she adds: ] But it was probably so that the development of their drug was kept a secret. I don't know very much about any of that, though, just that it uses my blood. Er... Sort of.
[ Her brow furrows as she starts to confuse herself, so she shakes her head. ] But I guess it's easier to say that it's not like my Chevalier were nice people. The only two that were famous or anything were Grigori Rasputin and Martin Bormann, so that probably gives you an idea, if you know them. They're not really remembered well.
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Er... That seems like the sort of thing you should pay attention to, Diva. Aren't you the queen? You should be the one in charge of what you're doing.
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[ But then it looks like she deflates a little, making a small and huffy noise as she looks away. Could it be that she's embarrassed...? ]
I'm— I'm not very good at, um... I'm not very good at planning or things like that. I'm not a smart person, so I let my Chevalier take care of things like that. I don't really care what they do, as long as they're at my side.
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