[ in the end, it seems like he didn't have to push for answers one bit. Diva's never really withheld much from him, so it's not that surprising. On the other hand, her story might be. The more she talks about herself, where she came from, the worse he feels; every new anecdote lends some awful reasoning to her behavior, and he still probably hasn't heard half of it. What he does know is too terrible for him to even fully comprehend - after all, he hasn't even lived 50 years yet. She was tortured and nameless for twice as long as he's been alive - how could he begin to wrap his head around something like that? ]
Diva... [ quiet, melancholy. Her head feels heavy against his shoulder. "Sorry" doesn't exactly cut it. It wasn't right for her to kill all those people - he can't say that in good conscience - but it's hard to say it wasn't justified after what happened to her. There was no easy right answer here. Just like the situation with Mary in the gallery.
But Diva would be the Mary here, wouldn't she? It was an unfair situation.
There's a pang of guilt at that thought. ]
You... You didn't deserve to die. You're not "bad." Anyone who heard what you just told me would say that. [ he picks his words with some uncertainty - it's a thin line between comforting and patronizing - and rests a hand on her shoulder. ] ... Is she going to come after you again?
[ Diva doesn't move at all in response to the hand on her shoulder or his words. There's something dull in her chest to hear him say that she didn't deserve to die, and it almost cracks a small wall around her heart. But it doesn't, so she just stares ahead and answers his question coolly. With how she talks about these things, there's so much distance, as if she were talking about something that had happened to someone else. ]
I don't know. Probably. Saya says that she only exists to kill me, so... She would, wouldn't she?
[ It seems like that's all she'd say to that for a moment, but she adds onto it after a few moments. And compared to that cool tone, this time, her voice is more fragile and more upset. ]
But... I don't care about that. Sister— Sister takes people away from me. She kills them, or they love her more, like with Solomon and Karl, so... [ The crack widens, and her shoulders tremble, just slightly. ] So don't leave me, Garry.
[ She's really worried about that, isn't she? Even more than getting killed again - although that part's not much of a shock. He's come to expect her lack of self-preservation instincts. What is surprising is that she apparently cares this much about him. It's a warm feeling, a little, but also a guilty one. He's been misjudging her. ]
I won't. [ Garry's tone is quiet but firm, and much less uncertain than his previous question. Right now, he means it. There's still a lot he doesn't understand about the situation, about Saya's circumstances, but he knows that he can't just leave Diva alone. ] We're friends - your sister won't change that. And -- even if you don't care if she tries to kill you, I do.
[ a pause. Chances are, this Saya was just as volatile as her twin, if her entire existence revolves around murder, but... ] I'll talk to her.
[ Diva looks up at him as he begins to speak, and for a moment, her expression is difficult and hard to read. It's a strange expression, like she's uncertain what she should be showing on her face, but it's clear why after a moment.
We're friends - your sister won't change that.
It has her bringing her hands up to cover her nose and mouth as a strange hiccuping noise comes out of her mouth before she starts to cry. It's nice, hearing something like that, so it's really out of relief. She's not completely sure if she can believe it, but she wants to, and that's all that matters. It's a crack in her defenses that isn't really much, but behind the walls she's built up is a lifetime of pain, of hurt, and she's never been allowed to express it at all. So when it cracks, she can't help herself. She's relieved, and even if it feels like she might be fooling herself, if Garry is telling the truth, then... He'll be the first one.
It's so sad, though, that in living for almost two centuries, that he's one of the very few people she's given that trust to. All of her pretty masks are forgotten for the moment, because these aren't crocodile tears, but real, ugly, sobbing tears. And she's doubtlessly getting them all over Garry, since she chooses to hide her face by clinging to him. ]
[ She was -- really crying. Maybe she'd been childish sometimes, but she always seemed fairly proud and composed, in her strange way, and, again, he's surprised that she's showing this vulnerable side to him. He misjudged her. He really did. Garry had always half-thought that she was just playing him, but these tears were genuine, though he's not sure what part of what he said provoked them.
It's okay if she's soaking his coat - it's seen worse, and he doesn't mind being a shoulder for someone to cry on. After a moment's pause and confirmation that she was going to stay there, he quietly wraps his arms around her, one hand moving to gently stroke her hair. She seems so strangely small and fragile like this - but that's a part of her, too. ]
[ Later, when Diva takes the time to look back and think about this, she'll think much the same. She had misjudged Garry, but it wasn't because of anything about him personally. Diva had just never received such kindness from a human before, so she had grown cold and hateful towards them as a whole. And yet, here was one holding her and comforting her like only Amshel (and Abel, but he was a special case) had.
It takes her a few minutes to calm her sobbing, but she still hiccups for air. Her face doesn't move either, but that's more because she realized as she calmed down that her face was far from as pretty and composed as she would like it. ]
I— If you're lying to me, I'll kill you...
[ But rather than a real threat, it's said childishly and through those little hiccups. ]
[ For the most part, Garry's quiet as she cries, simply petting her hair and letting her get this out of her system. He half-wonders how long it's been since she's even cried like this, but - he's probably giving himself too much credit. He's not that special.
But being this special was just fine with him - they were even now, considering he'd just done this to her not too long ago. And at her comment, instead of feeling threatened, he just laughs a little bit. ]
I won't. But, you know, I thought that you were lying to me for quite a while.
[ goodness, she looks terrible... it's too bad that the only handkerchiefs on him don't actually belong to him (and also one has blood on it.) ]
Well... everything, I guess... I was worried that you were just being kind to lure me in and eat me, like in the stories. [ he sighs, looking off to the side a bit guiltily. ] ... Sorry. But I don't think that any more.
[ Her surprise stays for a moment, but she looks down bashfully, though she rubs at her eyes as if that were the reason. ]
Ah... You don't really need to apologize for that. [ After all, she did, sometimes. She had hardly tried it or even really thought to in Haven, but. Her face feels a little drier, so she chuckles a little, since she feels silly. Though it very rarely happened, she hated crying in front of others. It wasn't exactly flattering, and yet here Garry was trying to comfort her. It's touching, honestly. She could say a simple thank you, but Diva feels that it doesn't quite express her gratitude as she wants it to. So instead, she leans up a little, just to give Garry a very gentle kiss on his cheek. ]
[ that makes him flinch, too, although this time, it's not from fear - in spite of himself, he feels his face heat up a little bit in embarrassment from that sweet gesture, and for a half-second, he finds himself keenly aware of the fact that there's a beautiful, half-dressed woman practically in his lap. But... it's Diva, and so, he doesn't stay flustered. She's too familiar now. Instead, he just chuckles. ]
If you act cute like that, I might not even believe you're a Chiropteran! [ he leans back a little. ] But... you're welcome. That's what friends are for. Do you... know what you're going to do? About Saya.
[ She makes a small huffy noise, and really probably just reminds Garry of that more. Diva pulls back from his cheek to hover right in front of his face with a puffed out cheek, putting her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. ]
That's mean! Just because I'm a Chiropteran doesn't mean we can't be cute, right?
[ She doesn't answer the question about Saya because she doesn't really know, for one, and she doesn't want to necessarily think about it. ]
[ yeah, he notices that question dodge, but what can he do? It seems like Diva isn't too worried about it now - either that, or she had been more worried about losing his friendship in the first place. That's hard to believe, but considering how she'd reacted before, maybe...
Either way, she's getting a little bit too close to think about it very hard. Looking faintly nervous, his hands move to her waist, and he gently tries to push her back a bit. ]
Well now... I think I remember you being the one who said that you didn't want to seem cute a while ago.
[ Diva looks down to the hands on her waist with a perplexed expression at first, since she does not see anything strange or uncomfortable about this at all!! In fact, she questions whether he's actually pushing her or not, but really, remains unmoved, because it's forgotten as soon as he brings that up. ]
I, um—!
[ She puffs her cheek out briefly, but then leans forward so that her forehead is pressed up to his, pushing his head back a little. ]
Why would you remember something like that? U-Ugh, that's... You're really troublesome!
[ his personal space bubble!! His brief blush had been fading fast, but that brings it back in a hurry. It's one of those times where he can't read what she's thinking one bit - is she trying to rile him up, or is she just being childish? He's going to bet on the latter and give her the benefit of the doubt for now - after all, liking to snuggle was another thing she'd mentioned to him before. So he lets her push against him, although he's rather obviously a little flustered by it. ]
Er, well - I just thought it was a funny thing to say! Y-You're a strange woman...
"imagine if charles walked in on this [ eeek - 1376 ]" indeed
[ he sighs just a little in relief as she moves away, relaxing somewhat. ]
W-well, I admit that I wasn't expecting you to do that... [ ... but he's not unhappy about it. Sure, maybe she was a bit overwhelming, but she really was cute sometimes, as poorly as it seemed to suit the rest of her; that, and she seems like she's feeling better now. ]
[ Diva's smile is definitely back, though perhaps not at its usual fullness. It's still a worry that she can't quell so easily, but... Garry has managed to cheer her up for now. She leans against him with a content smile, resting her head on his shoulder. ]
Well, thank you for coming over and, um... listening, I guess. It's not something I can just tell anyone, because... Well, they wouldn't react this way, I guess. But I'm glad that I can count on you.
[ Good. He feels a little warmth in his heart, knowing that he'd helped her out when others couldn't, making her happy; he was fairly confident now that she deserved it, regardless of what she was or what she'd done. And, though he might be selfish sometimes, seeing a friend cheered up cheered him up, too. ]
It's no problem! I might not be very brave, but I'm nothing if not reliable...! [ he speaks brightly, trying to shake off his flustered feelings from before, and laughs a little. ] Really, though... That's what friends are for.
i thought that was a new icon and i got excited...
[ She looks up to him a little surprised at first, but then laughs as she simply shakes her head. ]
Hey, you can't say something like that. Not when I've, um... [ She abruptly pauses, since she's forgotten the word. The word she's looking for is "vouched," but she rather quickly gives up, choosing to explain herself instead. ] You are brave, I think. You've definitely shown me a lot of bravery, you know.
[ She nods, and in her tone, there's a sense that it's very genuine and very heartfelt. ]
I do. You're friends with me, after all, and... That takes a lot of bravery. Especially since I don't make a good first impression when I'm being honest.
[ It's something she's quite aware of, naturally. She knows that boasting about her bloodlust and her being alienates people, but she believed, and still does, to some degree, that she prefers it. If she alienates people, then they never have a chance to get close to her and disappoint her, even if it makes her terribly lonely. ]
And when we got kicked out of the apartments, you were protecting me. I didn't forget, even if I got lost. You're definitely brave, Garry, because you have to be brave to be my friend, I know.
Diva... [ it's rather like that time when she said she purposely tried to be scary - her self-awareness of her problems is sometimes surprising. Garry's expression softens, and he offers a helpless little smile, reaching out to place a hand on her back. ] Thank you for thinking that.
[ She's right, of course - it was pretty terrifying to be around her for a long time - but it feels bad to say that and reinforce what he sees as a negative opinion of herself. Regardless, knowing that someone appreciates him at least trying to be brave was nice - especially after what happened in the maze not so long ago. ]
[ Diva nods with a soft noise, leaning more heavily against his shoulder. This sort of encounter really solidifies that stark contrast between the Diva he had first met and the one sitting next to him now. That monstrous, cold queen was just a guise for the lonely, vulnerable girl underneath. But with how she smiles now, it's very clear that it's things like this that make her truly happy, not the violence that she's led herself into. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Diva... [ quiet, melancholy. Her head feels heavy against his shoulder. "Sorry" doesn't exactly cut it. It wasn't right for her to kill all those people - he can't say that in good conscience - but it's hard to say it wasn't justified after what happened to her. There was no easy right answer here. Just like the situation with Mary in the gallery.
But Diva would be the Mary here, wouldn't she? It was an unfair situation.
There's a pang of guilt at that thought. ]
You... You didn't deserve to die. You're not "bad." Anyone who heard what you just told me would say that. [ he picks his words with some uncertainty - it's a thin line between comforting and patronizing - and rests a hand on her shoulder. ] ... Is she going to come after you again?
no subject
I don't know. Probably. Saya says that she only exists to kill me, so... She would, wouldn't she?
[ It seems like that's all she'd say to that for a moment, but she adds onto it after a few moments. And compared to that cool tone, this time, her voice is more fragile and more upset. ]
But... I don't care about that. Sister— Sister takes people away from me. She kills them, or they love her more, like with Solomon and Karl, so... [ The crack widens, and her shoulders tremble, just slightly. ] So don't leave me, Garry.
no subject
I won't. [ Garry's tone is quiet but firm, and much less uncertain than his previous question. Right now, he means it. There's still a lot he doesn't understand about the situation, about Saya's circumstances, but he knows that he can't just leave Diva alone. ] We're friends - your sister won't change that. And -- even if you don't care if she tries to kill you, I do.
[ a pause. Chances are, this Saya was just as volatile as her twin, if her entire existence revolves around murder, but... ] I'll talk to her.
no subject
We're friends - your sister won't change that.
It has her bringing her hands up to cover her nose and mouth as a strange hiccuping noise comes out of her mouth before she starts to cry. It's nice, hearing something like that, so it's really out of relief. She's not completely sure if she can believe it, but she wants to, and that's all that matters. It's a crack in her defenses that isn't really much, but behind the walls she's built up is a lifetime of pain, of hurt, and she's never been allowed to express it at all. So when it cracks, she can't help herself. She's relieved, and even if it feels like she might be fooling herself, if Garry is telling the truth, then... He'll be the first one.
It's so sad, though, that in living for almost two centuries, that he's one of the very few people she's given that trust to. All of her pretty masks are forgotten for the moment, because these aren't crocodile tears, but real, ugly, sobbing tears. And she's doubtlessly getting them all over Garry, since she chooses to hide her face by clinging to him. ]
no subject
[ She was -- really crying. Maybe she'd been childish sometimes, but she always seemed fairly proud and composed, in her strange way, and, again, he's surprised that she's showing this vulnerable side to him. He misjudged her. He really did. Garry had always half-thought that she was just playing him, but these tears were genuine, though he's not sure what part of what he said provoked them.
It's okay if she's soaking his coat - it's seen worse, and he doesn't mind being a shoulder for someone to cry on. After a moment's pause and confirmation that she was going to stay there, he quietly wraps his arms around her, one hand moving to gently stroke her hair. She seems so strangely small and fragile like this - but that's a part of her, too. ]
There, there... Don't cry. It'll be all right.
idk why that was anon...
It takes her a few minutes to calm her sobbing, but she still hiccups for air. Her face doesn't move either, but that's more because she realized as she calmed down that her face was far from as pretty and composed as she would like it. ]
I— If you're lying to me, I'll kill you...
[ But rather than a real threat, it's said childishly and through those little hiccups. ]
secret diva tags
But being this special was just fine with him - they were even now, considering he'd just done this to her not too long ago. And at her comment, instead of feeling threatened, he just laughs a little bit. ]
I won't. But, you know, I thought that you were lying to me for quite a while.
car tags, man
Me? About what?
no subject
Well... everything, I guess... I was worried that you were just being kind to lure me in and eat me, like in the stories. [ he sighs, looking off to the side a bit guiltily. ] ... Sorry. But I don't think that any more.
no subject
Ah... You don't really need to apologize for that. [ After all, she did, sometimes. She had hardly tried it or even really thought to in Haven, but. Her face feels a little drier, so she chuckles a little, since she feels silly. Though it very rarely happened, she hated crying in front of others. It wasn't exactly flattering, and yet here Garry was trying to comfort her. It's touching, honestly. She could say a simple thank you, but Diva feels that it doesn't quite express her gratitude as she wants it to. So instead, she leans up a little, just to give Garry a very gentle kiss on his cheek. ]
Thank you.
no subject
If you act cute like that, I might not even believe you're a Chiropteran! [ he leans back a little. ] But... you're welcome. That's what friends are for. Do you... know what you're going to do? About Saya.
no subject
That's mean! Just because I'm a Chiropteran doesn't mean we can't be cute, right?
[ She doesn't answer the question about Saya because she doesn't really know, for one, and she doesn't want to necessarily think about it. ]
no subject
Either way, she's getting a little bit too close to think about it very hard. Looking faintly nervous, his hands move to her waist, and he gently tries to push her back a bit. ]
Well now... I think I remember you being the one who said that you didn't want to seem cute a while ago.
uguu: the tag
I, um—!
[ She puffs her cheek out briefly, but then leans forward so that her forehead is pressed up to his, pushing his head back a little. ]
Why would you remember something like that? U-Ugh, that's... You're really troublesome!
imagine if charles walked in on this
[ his personal space bubble!! His brief blush had been fading fast, but that brings it back in a hurry. It's one of those times where he can't read what she's thinking one bit - is she trying to rile him up, or is she just being childish? He's going to bet on the latter and give her the benefit of the doubt for now - after all, liking to snuggle was another thing she'd mentioned to him before. So he lets her push against him, although he's rather obviously a little flustered by it. ]
Er, well - I just thought it was a funny thing to say! Y-You're a strange woman...
"imagine if charles walked in on this [ eeek - 1376 ]" indeed
[ She looks confused again, but then laughs as it dawns on her. She returns to sitting next to him, laughing to herself as she does. ]
Mm, I guess so! Ha, but that made you really nervous, didn't it?
my username is so multipurpose
W-well, I admit that I wasn't expecting you to do that... [ ... but he's not unhappy about it. Sure, maybe she was a bit overwhelming, but she really was cute sometimes, as poorly as it seemed to suit the rest of her; that, and she seems like she's feeling better now. ]
But you're smiling again, so it's fine.
the actual best username
Well, thank you for coming over and, um... listening, I guess. It's not something I can just tell anyone, because... Well, they wouldn't react this way, I guess. But I'm glad that I can count on you.
bows B)
It's no problem! I might not be very brave, but I'm nothing if not reliable...! [ he speaks brightly, trying to shake off his flustered feelings from before, and laughs a little. ] Really, though... That's what friends are for.
i thought that was a new icon and i got excited...
Hey, you can't say something like that. Not when I've, um... [ She abruptly pauses, since she's forgotten the word. The word she's looking for is "vouched," but she rather quickly gives up, choosing to explain herself instead. ] You are brave, I think. You've definitely shown me a lot of bravery, you know.
nope just a rare one...
[ but he does appreciate the compliment. It's not exactly one that he gets often. ]
no subject
I do. You're friends with me, after all, and... That takes a lot of bravery. Especially since I don't make a good first impression when I'm being honest.
[ It's something she's quite aware of, naturally. She knows that boasting about her bloodlust and her being alienates people, but she believed, and still does, to some degree, that she prefers it. If she alienates people, then they never have a chance to get close to her and disappoint her, even if it makes her terribly lonely. ]
And when we got kicked out of the apartments, you were protecting me. I didn't forget, even if I got lost. You're definitely brave, Garry, because you have to be brave to be my friend, I know.
no subject
[ She's right, of course - it was pretty terrifying to be around her for a long time - but it feels bad to say that and reinforce what he sees as a negative opinion of herself. Regardless, knowing that someone appreciates him at least trying to be brave was nice - especially after what happened in the maze not so long ago. ]
Are you feeling any better now...?
no subject
I am. You're a good friend, you know?